The Face Page 8

“You really really don’t mind?”

  “I really really don’t mind. Now how about you unpack, there’s a built in wardrobe and we don’t want to crease our clothes do we?”

  Amy suddenly flipped back to ‘rational’ mode. “OK, you check your guitars.”

  “I’m sure they’re fine.”

  Amy pounded up the stairs and Brian let out a long breath, “My that was close.”

  Bau trembled slightly. “You can’t bully her, that’s Verity’s problem she believes she can bully Amy into health by telling her to ‘snap out of it.’ She just needs loving, but that’s in short supply in that household.”

  Brian began to panic, what if Amy started to go off the edge when Bau wasn’t around? “I don’t suppose you fancy moving in here do you?” If she throws a wobbly and I’m here alone, I might not be as gentle as you.”

  Bau frowned, “Do you want me because of her, or me because of me?”

  He tenderly put his hands on her waist, “You because of you, I’d have asked you anyway, can’t have you living in that rat-hole, I almost did a U-turn twice last night to scoop you up and bring you here. Anyway I’d like you close.”

  “In that case I thought you’d never ask.”

  The next three hours were hectic. Brian started by taking the back seats out of the car and then taking the women to a local furniture warehouse. Once inside Bau dragged him down to the cheap end of the warehouse. “Nothing grand, she said, “After all I might only use it for a night or two.”

  He again noted the fatalism; she expected to go back inside. Eventually they stood looking at self-assembly pine beds. Bau pointed at a simple one with a slatted base and a simple headboard. “That’ll do.”

  Amy pointed to a notice. “Look,” she exclaimed excitedly, “It says you can buy a double for only an extra £16.”

  Bau’s eyes pleaded with Brian. “Would be nice, spent the last three years on a 2' 6" steel bunk with a one inch mattress.”

  He bought the bed, a matching dressing table cum chest of drawers plus stool and a small bedside cabinet. He then turned his attention to bedside armchairs. Bau found a plain one, complete with cushions, but it was dreadful to sit in. It took nearly forty precious minutes till they found, tucked away in a corner, some discontinued stock, which was perfect. Brian bought one with red cushions and noted Amy’s face. He sighed, was this how it was going to be? “Would you like one for your room?”

  “The pink one please.”

  This collection of furniture, plus a cheap rug, was stuffed into the car for the journey back; with the folded mattress this was a tight squeeze. One at the house Brian, with help from Amy, carried the flat-packs up to the other unoccupied first floor bedroom. Amy checked her watch, “I’ll stay while you go for Bau’s stuff and the bed-linen, what time do you want dinner?”

  Bau checked Brian’s watch. “Let’s say seven.”

  Amy turned to Brian, “Anything you don’t eat?”

  “Spaghetti and macaroni, otherwise I’m an eclectic omnivore.”

  Bau and Brian left her, once in the car he turned to Bau. “Is she safe to leave?”

  “She’ll be fine, she’s got something to concentrate on and she’s feeling more comfortable, did you notice she’s stopped stammering?”

  They drove like fury to a large supermarket and bough something called a bail of bedding and a summer duvet. After that they journeyed towards Bau’s cottage. Halfway there he turned onto a piece of farmer’s hardstanding and stopped the engine. Bau raised an eyebrow. He smiled sheepishly, “Though I’d grab a moment’s solitude with you, it’s becoming a precious commodity.”

  He put her arm round her shoulders (fortunately she had chosen the centre seat) and she leant against him. “It won’t always be like this, once Amy gets into a routine she actually likes being by herself, especially if she’s cooking. In her book cooking is definitely not a shared activity.”

  He gently kissed her on the forehead, “I can’t believe I only met you two days ago, so much has happened. Is it always like this with you?”

  “Making up for lost time,” she said simply wondering if it was indeed all too fast. The chaplain had warned her, in no uncertain terms; that on release she could experience strong tendency to throw herself at the first man she met. Apparently it was quite common with ex-prisoners. On the other hand she’d spent two months in virtual solitude in the woebegone cottage. She decided she had one more thing to check. “Do you resent Amy?”

  “A bit, it’s not everyday you find a gorgeous woman and then discover that she has permanent chaperone.”

  He kissed her on the forehead again, “Resent might be too strong a word though, envy might be better. I wish I could have the relationship with you that she obviously has.”

  Bau closed her eyes, “Don’t forget we’ve had years together, it’s not easy for her either, but she thinks you’re the bees knees.”

  “Pardon?”

  “When we walked down to the river, I asked her if she could cope with you around. She’s waited three years for my release and no doubt would have waited the full fifteen, or longer. That is if Verity hadn’t driven her to the loony bin first. So her view is important to me.”

  “You don’t like Verity.”

  “Not a bit, overbearing cow.”

  She took a deep breath, “Amy said that she thought you were just right for me.”

  Bau looked straight out of the windscreen and added softly, “She also said that if it would mean I could have happiness and a normal life with you she’d go away.”

  Her eyes flicked onto Brian’s face so she could watch his reaction. “I said no, I couldn’t let her do that Brian, not after all we’ve been through. Besides, as I’ve said, I have a deep devotion for her.”

  His face only contained tenderness, no revulsion and definitely no anger. He moved his lips towards her again, “Then I guess I’ve got the two for one offer of the year.”

  This time she lifted her face and let him kiss her on the lips. Blow what the chaplain had said, life was short and she needed to live it to the full. In any case where else was she going to get a man like Brian?

  When they eventually arrived back Amy had been hard at work. Dinner was in the oven, the double bed, much to Brian’s amazement, was assembled and she’d added a final touch to Bau’s bedroom. Painted on the wall, in thick red gloss paint, was the perfect outline of a guitar. Bau gave her a hug, “That’s wonderful, where did you get the paint?”

  “In the garage. Garage doors are red so I thought there might be some paint left over.” She gave a little hip-wobble, “There’s one in my bedroom too, but I mixed the paint with some white, so it’s pink.”

  Bau laughed, “Well it would be, wouldn’t it.”

  She winked at Brian; “Amy likes pink.”

  “I’d never have guessed,” he said drolly wondering just how he was going to explain to George that two of his rooms now had a virtually indelible addition to his bland décor.

  Dinner turned out to be a lush shepherd’s pie. Once again Brian noted that Amy made sure Bau ate a good portion, while Bau made sure that Amy didn’t take a second helping. After dinner Brian turned his attention to the flat-packed bedside cabinet and the flat-packed dressing table. Both had been cheap and both were difficult to assemble and probably terribly non-durable, but they would suffice. By ten o’clock he’d assembled the armchairs. He took the pink one into Amy’s room through the open door and almost screamed. Not only had she used the gloss paint to put the outline of a guitar on the wall, she’d used it to paint her name on the door in six inch high letters. The door itself wasn’t painted, but stained with a sort of light-walnut colour, so her name would be now virtually indelibly written on the wood. Finally he went down to the kitchen; Amy was nowhere to be seen. Bau got up from reading the paper and put the kettle on. She stood still with a smile on her red lips. “You’ve no idea how a simple act like making my own coffee makes me feel, it’s like I’m back in control.”

&n
bsp; Brian wished he could say the same.

  Chapter 7

  Falling Into Sin

  The night was a milestone in Brian's education. It started with him trying to read the Bible and pray in his bedroom while Amy and Bau cleaned each other’s teeth. Bau had explained that it was Amy’s long-term aim to be a dental hygienist and that she did an invigorating tooth-clean. Despite trying to concentrate on the Psalms, he ended up listening to their conversation. The pair of them never seemed to close any doors so the words floated around him. Bau obviously started on Amy. “Open wide,” Bau commanded a couple of times, followed by, “Not bad, they’re quite good, but you really must scrub those molars. Is that a filling?”

  There was some sort of grunt from Amy. “Hand me that toothpick.”

  Another grunt from Amy followed by a stern Bau, “That’s spinach, when did you last eat spinach!”

  There were odd sounds and they obviously swapped as Amy’s voice now took precedence starting with an exclamation. “You’ve lost your nice front teeth!”

  “Had an accident,” Bau replied.

  “Those gums are terrible, they’ve receded right away, and you’ve chipped one of your molars.”

  There was silence for a while. “Good grief, these upper teeth are both loose, what have you been doing? Eating toffee?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Now have a good rinse,” Commanded Amy.

  There were gurgling sounds and Amy lowered her voice. “Do you think Brian will want his teeth cleaned?”

  “I rather think,” Bau replied drolly, “that he is old enough to clean his own.”

  The next education for Brian was at 3am. He was deep asleep, dreaming of the Rocqettes, when a sharp wailing noise brought him from dead sleep to wide awake in less than a second and forcing his heart rate from a slow thump into a rapid thud. He grabbed his dressing gown and trotted onto the landing just in time to see Bau’s silhouette cross in front of the moonlit window into Amy’s room. “Lucy’s dead!” Amy wailed

  “She’s all right Amy, she’s in heaven. She’s fine there; there are no tears and no pain in heaven.”

  “But who’s looking after her?” She wailed again.

  “All the angels.”

  “But she’ll be frightened!”

  Bau continued in her soothing voice. “There’s no fear in heaven is there? It’s a wonderful place and Lucy will love it there.”

  “Will she miss us?”

  “Of course she’ll miss us, but she knows that at some time in the future, when the time is just right, we’ll join her there.”

  There was a muffled sort of noise and Brian peered through the crack in the door. The bedside light was on and Bau was hugging Amy. After a short while Amy flopped back into bed. “Do you want a sleeping tablet?” Bau asked sensitively.

  “Hate sleeping tablets,” Amy replied. “Make me all fuzzy in the morning.”

  Bau picked up Amy’s battered guitar and tuned it. “Let me sing you to sleep then.”

  She started playing Greensleeves and sang along in a gently voice. “Lucy used to like this,” stated Amy.

  Bau continued and after a couple of verses changed from singing to humming before reducing the volume gradually. Finally she stopped and carefully placed the guitar back against the wall and crept out. Brian retreated down the hall. When Bau came out of the room he made a drinking motion with his hand and pointed downstairs. She shook her head and went back to bed; somehow he was vaguely disappointed. It took him more than an hour to get back to sleep.

  The second time he woke up it was to the sound of singing; singing and splashing. The girls were obviously having a bath and enjoying the acoustics of the bathroom as they were belting out, in perfect two-part harmony, Amazing Grace. Brian lay in bed and listened. He knew that his life was out of his control. A week ago if anyone had dared to suggest that he would be sharing his house with a pair of women he would have scoffed. Furthermore had they suggested that one would be a convicted murderer and the other mentally unstable he would have split his sides in utter mirth. He rolled over onto his back as they changed to the old Seekers song Morning Town Ride. He said a short prayer asking for God’s help and rolled out of bed to go and use the upstairs bathroom.

  By the time he got downstairs Amy was toasting bread with the seriousness of a military operation and Bau was trying to remove a splinter out of her left foot. “Floorboard,” she muttered.

  Brian knelt down and took a small pair of tweezers out of the side of his pocket knife and poked around. Eventually he removed a quarter inch long sliver of wood. Amy tossed her head. “Shouldn’t have bare floorboards, not unless they are polished.”

  She dumped the toast-rack in the centre of the table; Brian got the message. “I’ll see what I can do about the floor.”

  Amy flopped into a seat, “Pile of carpet tiles in the garage,” she announced, “shame to waste them. Too much waste these days.”

  “I’ll have a look,” Brian replied, almost loosing patience, just who was she to start throwing her considerable weight around?

  They ate in silence with Amy once again tapping the table when Bau tried to get away without eating a full slice of toast and marmalade. “Don’t forget your little tablet,” Bau muttered.

  “Already had it, don’t want to make the same mistake twice. Once with Lucy was enough.”

  Three seconds later her eyes opened wide and she put a hand to her mouth, fear invaded her eyes and Brian could see that she was about to throw a wobbly. Bau grabbed her hands, “It’s all right Amy, there are no secrets from Brian.”

  It was clearly not all right. Her face transformed into that of a distraught child and she howled, “I promised I wouldn’t tell. I promised, I promised I promised.” Each time she said the words ‘I promised’ her voice rose a pitch.

  Without warning Bau slapped her. Not the gentle female slap of a miffed woman, but the walloping slap of someone out to cause pain. Amy’s eyes widened further and, in total surprise at the action, she stopped wailing. Bau looked her in the eyes, “It’s OK Amy, there are no secrets from Brian.”

  Amy blinked, “But I…”

  She took a deep breath and Brian waited for another wail, instead she closed her eyes and let the breath out slowly. Eventually she opened her eyes and Brian could instantly see that normal life had resumed. She took a sip of tea. “I’m not mad Brian,” she said.

  “Nobody said you were,” he replied carefully wondering just what secret Amy had just let slip.

  Amy took another sip of tea. “The psychiatrist says it’s like a dislocation. If I had a dislocated hip everyone would understand, but somehow I’ve got a dislocation in my brain. Sometimes what I truly believe is perfectly logical is, by traditional standards, not what is regarded as normal. I don’t set out to shock or appear stupid, it just happens.” She grinned, “Perhaps in a parallel universe I’d be the normal one, who knows.”

  She stirred her tea, “Sometimes I feel like I’m standing on the edge of a deep black pit. I’m learning how to avoid that pit and take diversions and detours to escape from it, but sometime the pit leaps out and overwhelms me without warning. Or when I’m about to step back it suddenly opens out beneath me. I am learning how to side-step at the right time, but the psychiatrist says it’s rather like learning to walk on a tightrope. I will manage it eventually, but it will take practise and sometimes I will fall. Hopefully every time I fall I learn something and can improve my coping strategy for next time. I have to believe that, but it takes time and practice and,” she flicked her eyes to Bau and back, “and a safe environment. One where I can be allowed to push the boundaries rather than be told I must stay in a small safe place and not think.”

  This was the lucid Amy, the rational Amy, the Amy that had once been always like this, and Brian’s heart went out to her. He reached out and placed his hand over hers. “I won’t say I understand because I’ve never been in your position. I do understand more now that I did before and i
f I can help, or if I need to stop doing something that you regard as a trigger, then just let me know.”

  She swallowed some tea, “Thank you, I know you’re a good man or Bau wouldn’t be with you.”

  Bau rubbed Amy’s cheeks, “I’m so sorry I hit you so hard. I promise I will never hit you again.”

  Amy placed her hand over Amy’s and held it against her cheek. If it stops me from going into the pit of despair you hit me all you like, but please try to leave my teeth in place next time.”

  Bau turned to Brian, “I guess it’s time for the real truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.”

  She momentarily half closed her eyes. “I’m sorry I gave you an edited version before, but I had to protect Amy then, I don’t think I need to do that with you now.”

  She let go of Amy, interlaced her bony fingers and sighed. “I was at the end of my tether and nearly at a standstill when Amy came round. Verity and her tribe had gone to some wedding or other and Amy had faked food poisoning to stay behind. When she arrived she sent me to bed and took charge of Amy. It’s one thing being sent to bed, it’s another sleeping. You reach this point where you’re so wound up about not sleeping you can’t sleep despite the fact you are dead on your feet. In the end Amy gave me a sleeping tablet. She’d looked after Lucy all day and I was no better and she gave me a sleeping tablet, believe me I took it gratefully. What I didn’t tell Amy, and what I should have told Amy, was that I’d also given Lucy a quarter of a sleeping tablet and in doing so I killed Lucy.”

  “We killed Lucy,” Amy chipped in.

  “I know that it sounds unbelievable that I’d feed a small child with a sleeping tablet, but she was fretful, fractious and in some discomfort despite the pain-killers the doctor had prescribed. Whenever I gave her a tablet I never had one myself and always, but always, made sure she was on her side so that if she was sick the vomit wouldn’t stay in her mouth.”

  She took a quavering breath, “But that day I broke my own rules and had a tablet and gave Lucy a bit of a tablet, after all Amy was there.”